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Is there a cure for RACI?

Winter months are risky times what comes to contagious airborne diseases. Public transport is full of coughing adults targeting their ammunition towards your general direction and runny-nosed kiddos wiping their little hands clean of the snot on the seat handles. You hear "Bless You!" more often than "Hello!" Oh Joy - but the worst is over for this winter already.

However in the office environment, a deep-rooted and highly contagious disease is luring totally uncontained - RACI is all over! It spreads from team to team draining its´ victims of energy, making heads spin helplessly and causing involuntary fingers-down-the-throat sign language. Spring is just around the corner paving the way for the reorganisations - and those events are just what RACI is waiting for. There is little to stop the raging RACI-march through the innocently unaware crowds. Your only hope is awareness.

<--- A RACI Victim

Be well prepared - RACI Season is here!

Two most common first symptoms of RACI are:

1. Your agenda gets blocked with discussion and review meetings and your mail server´s file system corrupted by Gigabytes of draft presentations.
   
2. Your days disappear while involved with follow-ups with infected folks and you´re not able to catch-up with your actual work.
   

At this stage, RACI can in most cases be cured with off-the-counter Outlook-blockers and Sapphire treatments.

Untreated, RACI can develop additional, severe symptoms like:

1. You become disoriented, concentrating on counting how many times a term "Accountable" is explained in different ways during the meetings. (RACI is getting into your brain.)
   
2. You feel common sense vanishing into thin air and you loose ability to understand your colleagues. You loose trust into Human Kind. (RACI starts affecting your personality.)
   

At this stage of RACI, careful application of Private Events and Winter Holidays to ones´ agenda have proven effective. These should always be accompanied with high dosage of Bombay or recognized herbal-based remedies administered by trained professionals!

Mooses says: If you get infected by RACI, don't hide it but seek help - you are not alone!

Sorry Catherine!

Look who just called asking me to join for a beer at the the locals! Sorry Catherine, you did not send me an X-Mas card. Too busy to talk about Botox tonight, Dear. Mooses believes in Paralox á la AbFab.

Have to go now - evening is chilling down and Mooses needs some spicing up. Did I hear you used to spice your undies using Cayenne Pepper, Catherine? Patrick, Mooses is on his way, order a round of Sapphire Shots, will you!

Mooses says: Play Poker - Royal Flush beats Two Queens!

Archaeology vs. Catherine Deneuve

Catherine Deneuve (Catherine Fabienne Dorléac by birth) - the Lady of France - has through her epic career shown striking skills what comes to not being a Dumb Blonde. Her classic looks and open-mindness has inspired generations of admirers and cosmetic industry alike (yes, in plural, she is 267 years old). But how can she keep her porcelain doll looks through all these years - is she a living mummy, animated mannequin, an evil zombie in disguise, gene therapy experiment, an alien, maybe she visited the Secret Surgeon? Mooses has no clue but acknowledges the result.

<--- An Evil Zombie in Disguise

Archaeology might provide us with an answer. According to closely informed, highly educated, publicly financed, well hung and generally adorned resources (Finnish archaeologist who has licked the hand of Swedish Queen, Silvia, and considers the King being a looser) Catherine has publicly announced The Secret. All boils down to individual choice. When you come to your fourties, you only have two options: "Vis" or "Derrier"! It´s like making a Deal with the Devil!

Option One "Vis": You age graciously, become charmant, wondrously youthful, elegant, adorably ageless, classic and will be flattered at dinner parties and at the office. People will ask you not to refer yourself being old. But nobody actually wants to fuck with you but while you´re fully dressed. Fetish folks who like to slip into something more uncomfortable before nocturnal activities prefer this. Take the Blue Pill!

Option Two "Derrier": Everybody wants to fuck with you but with a paper bag over your head. For eternity! Fetish folks who like masks should choose this option - particularly great for motorbikers. Folks into snuff should use plastic bags. Take the Red Pill!

"I took the Red Pill!"

Silvia has not made her choice yet - tick-tick-tick... She prefers being under a big Swedish flag.

Mooses says: Never underestimate the positive effects of Preventive Conservation! (Mooses uses Bombay, not embalming fluid as mistakenly claimed.)