And what's that to do with the price of fish?

The delay with this entry is due to some trouble Mooses had with his trusty Mac.
My utmost gorgeous G5 2x2GHz got upset and refused to start up.
Running Leopard reinstall as we speak - never needed to do a system reinstall during my 20 year long Mac Career before.
Hmmm - nothing is like during the old days, I see.
(Typing this on a stupid Wintel Laptop - aargh!)

A Pricy Fish

But how was it? Yes, Breast Firming Cream. Out the other day with Milano and Emil, excuisite food, elaborate drinks, some digestive weed and limitless amounts of sheer nonsense. Great fun again, Guys! During a discussion over dessert, Milano mentions seen a Breast Firming Cream advert and is wondering what the world has turned into. Emil's and my eyes open of astonishment - Breast Firming Cream is such an old thing - good'ol Teenager Boy's Wet Dream! After comparing our experiences regarding previously published advertising about the blessed substance, we agreed that this is just a flash from the past. Must be around 'cause there's a new generation of teenagers with overactive libidos and imagination who just have not seen the previous round of Breast Firming Cream ads. Wet Dreams are Made of This, Annie!

Busto-Plasty Care Products

Hoot-O-Mat, Tit-E-Wonder, Knocker-S-Up or Boob-A-Supa?

Why does these ads picture those gorgeous women who definitely need no support of any kind to conserve the perkiness of their bosom? Haha - here we go... It's because of the Teenager Boys! Perfectly acceptable evening reading material - with hands under the blanket, most likely.

<--- A Pair of nicely Perky Ones, made with Busto-Plasty

By the way, my Lady Readers - you would not buy a Busto-Plasty product if it was advertised with an image of a woman truly needing some titty-tight-up - kinda having two wallets hanging from her shoulders - nonono. It's the end result that needs to be forged into our imaginations. Basic rule of marketing - do not show the problem, show the solution and end result!

System Reinstall completed - 70 minutes exactly - seems my trusty Mac is back online! Will continue there...

Never use work mobile phone during your free time

Not only is such action likely against your company policy, but also features a risk for serious mishaps. Picture this: Saturday after heavy Preventive Conservation, no dinner, badly slept night, high stress-levels, no breakfast, hair of the dog - and ***pling*** you start practicing some telephone terrorism - and to save some Euro's, you do it with your work mobile. Does not promise good, does it?

A Telephone Terrorist in Burka, with no need of Busto-Plasty --->

Almost the worst happened to Mooses last weekend. Finding traces of calls made to a couple of manager colleagues in my phone on Sunday and not remembering if I actually talked with them did not feel good. Bless the Goddess! No harm done, apparently the calls did not go through. Pheew! Lesson learned!

Mooses says: Ladies - Put Your Nipples to the Wind and Terrorize the ManKind!

PS. It is tempting to expand the topic into Design-A-Vagina and Anal Bleaching direction, but due to the sensitivity and images of those topics, Mooses decides not to. For the ones interested, there's Google. Neither will you find famous images like Robert Mapplethorpe's Man in Polyester Suit here.

Mooses's Weekend Long-Drink Recipe: Screw-A-Driver


Hadsome measure of Vodka (use Finlandia or Stolichnaya - absolutely not Absolut)
Freshly squeezed Orange Juice
Galliano
Orange Slice
Ice

Build in a tall glass of app. 25 cl.

Fill the glass with ice, pour in the Vodka. Top up with Orange Juice, stir. Finally pour gently a half-measure of Galliano on top (called "float"), do not stir afterwards. Decorate with a slice of Orange. And before you ask, Galliano is essential. Otherwise the stuff is just plain Vodka Orange. And canned juice is like "What the F*ck?" - use proper ingredients or opt for some Tart Fuel instead.

Mooses says: time for some DIY, Dudes!

Do It Yourself!

DIY is one helluva business. Most of the Folks with own houses/apartments turn into it - mostly without any idea about what actually needs to be done. Only with an idea about the final result. DIY - which traditionally involves understanding of materials (like wood, ceramics, thickness of timber, types of glues, sizes of screws...) - has through times been a Male Hobby. You know, bragging around at the house who somebody has already finished waving a hammer for a couple of important details: a nail to hang up the mandatory Picture of the Mother in Law. Our endless appraisals for the good work! The kick must be the Power Tools.

<--- Just Two Hands and Black & Decker - oops, one hand and...

Times have changed

DIY's prominent positions as Nr 1 Male hobby is seriously challenged. Nerds and even Women go DIY nowadays! Hardware shops feature season's gimmicks like pot-plants, give out Design Magazines with easy-to-make newspaper stands made of MDF - and yes! - Designer Pot Plant Holders you can easily make out of air-pipe brackets with creative touch of fancy spray paint. Mmmm - Lovely! (If some of you, Opossums, get an idea to make them as present for Mooses's roof terrace opening, be warned! The fence is not that high...)

All this just to lure the desperate DIY'ers in, to buy super expensive can of decorative paint? But do they actually tell you how to make a tiled bathroom floor with a floor heating - preferably so that the water does not flow into your bedroom? And if you ask for an advice, do they know how to? No. Neither have they any idea if that EUR 39,95 drill is capable of making a hole into your reinforced concrete wall. They never did it themselves - being well trained they leave it for The Pros.

Choice is yours

If you insist on spending lotsa money by the DIY shops, by all means, do so. You will enjoy the Endless Swirl of Fresh Ideas which will enhance the style your home with the latest trends, forms and colours. If you know how to work with the materials, that is.

And now just smooth it all out gently. --->

Latest Gig: flexible dry-wall - perfect for making groovy 70's structures! Easy as Cake: sketch your design, get some incredible flex-boards, make a quick drawing on your floor and start bending! Boards flex like a dream - true. But did they tell you about how to finish the surfaces, plaster it to look like that Smooth Disco Wall you had in mind? Or even how to fix that shit up to the ceiling? No, of course not. This is only about the curving gypsum board. We thought you already knew the rest! Oh, how about Plastering then? The materials are so cheap - cannot be that difficult...

Moose loves DIY

Mooses comes from a Construction Family and can Handle a Hammer. And a Screwdriver. Can even make a proper one. However the advice is:

Nr. 1) DIY shops rip you off with prices.  

Nr 2) People working at DIY shops cannot make a single wall even coloured themselves - they like "giving it an effect".

Nr 3) DIY shops are for rich wankers.

<--- And now just smooth it all out gently.

Go and find a good specialist store at you area and talk with them. Paying for some services will save you money at the end. Do not glue your own shit pipes under the floor, will you!

Always wear proper protection! --->
See more Hilarious Inventive Ideas!

 


Mooses says: DIY is for Well Initiated People only.

(and where did I put that remote controller of my new remote-controllable bedroom lights...)

Elisabeth Schwarzkopf - come and sing to Mooses!

Kramer and The Lord of the Ants - both of whom need to go to the office tomorrow - being mortals - entertained Mooses. Right! Mooses wanted to get invited into The Donna Summer Fan Club the other night! NO DICE - but fantastic birthday present - a Chinese Massage! Thanks, Pal! Thanks a lot!

Thanks Dude! You know what I like! Up to his toes, the China Girl goes, David Bowie. Honest, Great, No Happy Ending... WOW! Had to come back home without my imaginatory friend and this quoted young opera singer from the last bar. Please join me to Pijp tomorrow!

Mooses IS for classic music. Fuck, I played violine and trumpet myself! Horror! Rimsky - fingers off Scheherazade! Bach - come on! Mozart - let's have a drink! Sibelius - Walz oh so Triste!

Short one tonight. Have to get ready for Elisabeth Scwartzkopf. All knobs to the South East and Goddess Bless my neighbours.

Classics? Never trust Wikipedia. So you are the one who actually did all that Mozart so well? Erm... Let the kids learn.



Mooses says: Listen and Learn! (BTW: Josh Groban, try Mozart - and I mean singing...)


Erm: It would be very unpolite not to recognize the Birthday Present given by The Lord of Ants. Mooses enoyed a full hour of Bang-a-Shit by the Local Chinese Massage Parlour. The Lady knew what to do with Mooses! No Happy Ending, not necessary either. Thanks, Pal, again! Made me feel great!