Winter is not over yet.

Winter holiday season is at coldest.

TV news announce snow depths up, middle and down the mountains several times a day, hamburger ads feature idiots going "Yodlee!" and sports stores discount slalom-paraphernalia including ridiculous looking brightly coloured GoreTexMex wearables.

Right after getting out of army, Mooses decided never to put on skis anymore. He accepts water skis at Seychelles pulled by engine with a Teak Deck, though.

Let us not forget the reality: in the midst of Apres Ski, it is essential to follow not only the piste-etiquette but general security tips to avoid serious injury while relocating between the Yodlee Hut and your stinking ski cabin where your pals are snoring already. With those countless Hot Shots fuzzing your cortex and while holding up a semi-concious Ice Queen adorned by thick blue mascara plus overdose of Tart Fuel (TF = any Breezer) - who you simply could not leave at the Yodlee Hut but decided in a moment of heroism to save from the evil Cockoo Band members - you cannot take any risks. By being careless, you might end having an artificial hip like your Auntie!

Auntie's Hip --->

Pay close attention!

Mooses will share some valuable advice regarding winter safety. This information comes from very reliable, globally recognized source.

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Did you know that slips represent the biggest lost time injury risk [to heterosexual male winter holiday goers]? These incidents can happen anywhere, but in countries where there's snow and ice, these special tips could prevent [getting into] a slip.

Almost every winter, [countless drunks] experience severe "Slip and Fall" injuries associated with winter weather, particularly at [ski resorts]. The greatest risk of injury occurs during the transition to/from [taxi], while entering a [Yodlee Hut] with a tile floor, while transitioning from [table to bar] or when walking on outdoor slopes or elevation changes, however slight. These tips can reduce your risk of slipping:
A Dangerous Slip

Step by Step

1. When you exit [the Yodlee Hut], maintain a firm 2 or 3-point contact with [the Ice Queen] until both feet are securely planted. Leave hand-carry items [at the wardrobe] when you first get out of the [bar]. Then retrieve your items, place them on the ground, get steady and shut the door. Avoid using your elbow to shut the door, as this can throw you off balance [due to door man of the Yodlee Hut beating you up as returned compliment].
2. Take very short steps, making sure that your entire shoe contacts the surface. [The Ice Queen slides along easily just by dragging firmly.]
   
3. Avoid carrying heavy or awkward items over ice or snow. Take time to get a cart [or let the Ice Queen carry them, including yourself if you behaved in an awkward manner at the Yodlee Hut].
4. To maintain a lower center of gravity, carry purses and briefcases down low by your side [or beat the door man at stage 1. with them and discard.]
5. Keep your hands out of your pockets for better balance. [It is recommended to keep your hands out of other people's pockets, too.] Having your hands free can help you regain your balance if you [get into the] slip and minimize the impact if you fall.
6. Do not use your cell phone while walking on icy surfaces. [Use the cell of somebody else instead.] This will raise and shift the center of balance while reducing your focus on your personal safety [and the slip]. If you must take a [leak], stop in a safe location first.
7. Wear shoes that are appropriate for slick conditions. Suitable shoes would fit properly and have low heels. If needed, change into an "indoor" pair of shoes once inside. [Applies to Protection, too.]
8. Be sure to wipe shoes thoroughly when entering buildings with tile floors. Simply walking over carpet won't dry shoes off immediately, especially near entry-ways where the carpet is wet or damp. [In case of a damp slip on the carpet, applies to Protection, too.]

Wondrous Paper Ornaments --->

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Mooses says: Winter Sports is an allergenic. That should do it - enjoy your Yodlee!