Paradise, no, Saturday Lost.

This is not America, la la la la la la... Falcon and Snowman. Cold War. David Bowie. US presidential pre-election. My private Idaho. Dreaming in Colours. Bitter Moon. Global Warming. Slavic Europeans. Windaloo. But the tests yesterday with hygienic hand wash gels... have to dissapoint you, my Opossums, had no time to test the gel at the office. Please test it yourself and report back!

Visited my personal (antroposofic) doctor the other morning. All the RACI at the office had given me a rash which did not self-heal and needed some anti-fungal treatment. 2 weeks, 2 tablets a day and likely not having any red spots anymore. Mooses goes naked! Medication is not sensitive to sunlight or alcohol, so having my fungus tablets and rushing for a drink at closest solarium...

<--- A RACI-free Smurf Is there a cure for RACI?

Oh, almost forgot The Smurfs

Albert Heijn (local supermarket chain famous for bad book-keeping) has bought 30 million (thirty million) little plastic figurines picturing the famous Smurfs. Holland goes crazy! For every 15 Euro's you get a FREE Smurf!

Buy and get for free?
 

The more you buy at AH, the more Smurfs you get! Fair? People with kids get stressed. Schools ban Smurf-trading and mothers are forced to it at the office. Public demands more Smurfs! National Guard is called in to contain the Mass Demonstrations to get Gargamel's Cat figures un-wrapped for easier collecting! AH gets even more publicity because of it. For Free!

Why is this kind of advertising allowed in NL when it is banned in the Nordics? So much easier to go shopping with kids there. "Free" (gratis) actually means that you do not need to pay - or buy to get for "free". There's a trick in it ... got it?

Sweetie got the wrong Smurf --->

Holland is Smurfed, Big Time!

Whoever sold the Smurf idea to Albert Heijn deserves a medal! Mooses hails you and your team! Just by riding on an old, sweet Belgian cartoon character Les Schtroumpfs (from 1958), you made it! People have not changed: everybody likes cute characters behaving like humans but not being human. And just at this time, two generations who like Smurfs co-exist. Bloody Clever! Mooses collects Smurfs, too, and any kind is welcome! The more the merrier! Mooses gets them from friends who get them for free (and almost lost the latest delivery among the week-end trashes, but no, found them back!)

Mooses says: Give me your Smurf!

Happy Birthday to Me!

Encouraged by the Hand Wash Bulletin the other day, Mooses decided to give it a try. During afternoon coffee break time I entered the Gents at the office with The Number 1 in mind. After the relieving operation, according to the famous bulletin it is time to wash your hands.

Watering my hands, squeezing some soap from the handy wall mounted dispenser on them and starting the processing phase; for 20 seconds... Safety first and timing is essential - singing "Happy Birthday" twice and scrubbing like a Maniac!

<--- Mooses scrubbing vigorously

If Mooses had good singing voice, there would already be a Christmas Album with Kiri te Kanawa: "Joyous Christmas Moments with Mooses and an Aboriginal". But no, Mooses was not blessed with that, but with countless other admirable and rare skills.


*scrub, scrub* "Happy Birthday to Me, *scrub* Happy Birthday to Me, Happy Birthday Dear Myself, *scrub, scrub* Happy Birthday to Me! *scrub, scrub, scrub - deep breath* Happy Birthday to Me, Happy Birthday to Me, *scrub* Happy Birthday Dear Mooses, Happy Birthday to Me!" *final scrub*

And so true, my hands turned out incredibly clean. Wonderful! Even if I forgot to use the paper towel, which I used to dry my operating-theater-qualified hands, to close the faucet and open the door out, I felt like Million Dollars! (not much to brag about in Euro's nowadays.)

Tad of hygienic moisturizer with mild self-tanning effect would seal the success nicely. But why did I get all those looks?

"Happy Birthday to me???" --->

Maybe I should have used the version from movie Madagascar ending: "... You look like a Monkey, and you smell like one, too!"


This must be explored further: it is Friday tomorrow, so will bring some germicidal hand wash gel and a timer to the office and test which gives better results: using a timer - or singing 1,5 times "Happy Birthday".

Mooses says: Sing if you're glad to be Gay! (Tom Robinson, 1978)

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Is there a cure for RACI?

Winter months are risky times what comes to contagious airborne diseases. Public transport is full of coughing adults targeting their ammunition towards your general direction and runny-nosed kiddos wiping their little hands clean of the snot on the seat handles. You hear "Bless You!" more often than "Hello!" Oh Joy - but the worst is over for this winter already.

However in the office environment, a deep-rooted and highly contagious disease is luring totally uncontained - RACI is all over! It spreads from team to team draining its´ victims of energy, making heads spin helplessly and causing involuntary fingers-down-the-throat sign language. Spring is just around the corner paving the way for the reorganisations - and those events are just what RACI is waiting for. There is little to stop the raging RACI-march through the innocently unaware crowds. Your only hope is awareness.

<--- A RACI Victim

Be well prepared - RACI Season is here!

Two most common first symptoms of RACI are:

1. Your agenda gets blocked with discussion and review meetings and your mail server´s file system corrupted by Gigabytes of draft presentations.
   
2. Your days disappear while involved with follow-ups with infected folks and you´re not able to catch-up with your actual work.
   

At this stage, RACI can in most cases be cured with off-the-counter Outlook-blockers and Sapphire treatments.

Untreated, RACI can develop additional, severe symptoms like:

1. You become disoriented, concentrating on counting how many times a term "Accountable" is explained in different ways during the meetings. (RACI is getting into your brain.)
   
2. You feel common sense vanishing into thin air and you loose ability to understand your colleagues. You loose trust into Human Kind. (RACI starts affecting your personality.)
   

At this stage of RACI, careful application of Private Events and Winter Holidays to ones´ agenda have proven effective. These should always be accompanied with high dosage of Bombay or recognized herbal-based remedies administered by trained professionals!

Mooses says: If you get infected by RACI, don't hide it but seek help - you are not alone!