Seven Deadly Sins - 2008 Edition

New times require new standards. The Famous Seven are outdated - including the movie. Who's today worried about a some good'ol Lust (punishment: being smothered in fire and brimstone), Gluttony (punishment: being forced to eat rats, toads and snakes), Greed (punishment: being put in cauldrons of boiling oil), Sloth (punishment: being thrown into a snake pit), Anger (punishment: being dismembered alive), Envy (punishment: being put in freezing water) or Pride (punishment: being broken on a wheel)?

All that bla-bla-bla is so Jurassic! Not that many people even understand the old concepts. Gluttony? Something in bread that kids are allergic to? Or where they not the ice-creams OLA made the other summer? Safest is of course simply adhere to the Seven Holy Virtues instead: Chastity, Abstinence, Temperance, Diligence, Patience, Kindness and Humility.
 
<--- Lot and his wife got out on time. But then the Bitch got second thoughts...

Reinvent The SIN. Time to scare the Modern Man: Vatican announces the New 7 Deadly Sins! "Being rich is actually dangerous to your soul!" says a TV-cute catholic priest to an interviewer. Mooses feels immediate empathy for Queen Elisabeth and King Gates. They were both doomed overnight!

At this moment, Vatican City´s official web site does not list the details, but web is full of interpretations. Most common list include: Polluting, Genetic Engineering, Obscene riches, Taking drugs, Abortion, Pedophilia, Causing Social Injustice. Kinda makes sense and feels more at home. But Come On! How do you read this list then? Erm...

The New Seven Deadly Sins

Causing Social Injustice: You call a person with weird English accent a Moron. Not in balance with your fellow man! Punishment: washing one´s mouth with soap in public.

Taking drugs: You sip some wine from the chalice on Sunday. Alcohol is the #2 Killer Chemical! Punishment: been displayed in public, naked and covered in own vomit.

Polluting: You play loud music using a bad quality MP3 player in a rush-hour bus. Destroying the auditive environment of fellow men. Punishment: being force-fed with 50 German Schlager CD´s in public.

<--- DNA - A Beautiful Sin

Annie Lennox - A Beautiful Sin with good DNA --->

 

Obscene Riches: You get a 7 Million Euro handshake from Albert Heijn as farewell. Bragging and making others envy you. Punishment: public clipping of all credit cards. Punishment to the one who Envies you: being put in freezing water.

Pedophilia: You know what this is, you piece of shit. Punishment: a really bad one!

Abortion: You have your first sex experience while drunk during a high-school party and get accidentaly pregnant. Punishment: suffer the consequences until you die, you asked for it! And you were taking drugs - deserves a double punishment.

Genetic Engineering: You find a cure for Alzheimer and get a Nobel Price for it. Punishment: your own DNA will be fed to pigs - in public!

Mooses says: "Don´t Mess with a Missionary Man!"