Maundy Thursday afternoon and it rains, still-to-be-finished RACI Charts cast murky shadows to my schedule and managing distant team members' access to countless servers causes my shabby beard to go more grey by the day - Mount Golgotha feels like not so abstract idea at all. Suffer, suffer; a brighter crown you'll receive!"How kind of You to let me come!" --->
But managed to cheer up my mother better than expected with flowers delivered for her upcoming birthday. She e-mails back: "Gosh how delightfully disturbing: my doorbell rings this morning and a very handsome man presents me a humongous bunch of colourful flowers - with a very suggestive title. Sure brought lots of sunshine into my Easter weekend. Thank you so much!" Hmm - makes me feel good - am not a total bastard whatever they tell you. :o)
Send your mother flowers right away! ROI is very, very good.
The Easter thing is coming again. Bunny hunting, hiding eggs or other extremities, eating weird food (like mämmi), painting odd objects, behaving like small chicken, whacking people with decorated twigs... Must get into my black, shiny high-heel PVC boots to match the spirit!
Olliebollie AKA Iceman is back and has promised to do the Slutty Dike logistics today. Suits the weather better than anything - thanks in advance! Lord of the Ants sent a very, very disturbing e-mail using his work-email (he should be on a holiday!) "Well yes but this is only one of my holics. cheers. Lord of the ants from Ant heed quarters" We all hope he is OK!
Mooses says: CU later, Sugars!
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Once upon a time there were seven dwarfs, living behind the seven hills.
Day in, day out they were searching for gold in the mines. Each of the dwarfs was righteous, hard-working and respectful to the others. When one of them got tired, he rested, and all others did not get angry.
When one of them was missing something, the others were eager and glad to give.
In the evening, when the toil of the day was done, they peacefully ate their bread and went to bed. But on the seventh day they rested.
At some day, one of the dwarfs thought, they did not know for sure, how much work was already done and began counting the lumps of gold, that they were digging out of the mines day by day.
And as he was so busy counting, the other dwarfs shared his task of digging. Soon his new job occupied him so much, that he finally was only counting and put his axe aside for good.
After a while, a grumble rose up among the friends, that looked at his new work with great suspicion. The dwarf was terrified and defended himself, the counting was indispensable, if they wanted to know about the progress of their work and he began telling them about it in all detail.
And as he could not talk while the others were hammering and hacking, they all put down their shovels and sat together at the table. Thus the first meeting was born.
The other dwarfs could see the fine papers and the symbols, but they shook their heads, because they did not understand this all.
It did not take long until the controller (this is how he called himself hence) demanded, that the dwarfs, that were labouring all days, should give some proof of their work by reporting on paper the amount of gold they were taking out of the mines with their lorries. And as they could not understand, why the amount was different each day, they appointed one of them to lead the others, to make sure the earnings were equal. This leader called himself manager and put his shovel down.
After a little while only five of them were working, but with the obligation to do the work of all seven.
The dwarfs’ morals were sinking, but what could they do?
When the manager heard of their lamentations, he sat down thinking hard for a long time and invented teamwork. And so every dwarf should do just part of the work, according to his own talents, and they should specialize. But alas! The daily work was not getting easier and when one of them got ill, they were all at a loss, as no one knew his neighbor’s job.
This way, the taylorism was born.
When the manager saw the bad conditions his colleagues were in, he appointed one of the the teamleader, whose task it was to encourage the others. This way the manager did not have to leave the warm fireplace anymore. Unfortunately the teamleader, who was so far setting the pace, put down his shovel too, and took to joining the manager more and more often to the meetings. Now only four were still working.
The mood dropped down and the output of gold as well. When the dwarfs angrily kicked the manager’s office door, he promised relief and organized a little excursion with the trolley car, for some distraction. But in order not to reduce the output of gold, this trip took place at the weekend.
And to make sure, this travel could be tax deducted as a business trip, the manager was holding a long, long speach, that he spiced with all sorts of alien sounding words he had heard from another manager, who was commanding other dwarfs in another mine. And so, the first anglicisms were used.
One day things escalated to an open quarrel. The little dwarfs threw away their little shovels and stomped their little feet and clenched their little hands to little fists. The manager was shocked and promised to recruit new colleagues to help them. The manager called this outsourcing. And so some other dwarfs came, they were strangers and did not really fit in the little community. And because they were so different, they needed their own leader, which had to report to the manager. In the end only three were left working.
And because each of them was doing different jobs in different manners and because two different groups of workers made it necessary to have two different departments, that kept picking on each other, a lively trade amongst them was created, under the strict observations of the controller. And so the cost-locations were invented. Each of the dwarfs looked down on the performance of the others, full of mistrust, and tried to keep for himself what he owned. And a grumbling could be heard from them, that was rising more and more.
The two dwarfs, that were still working, yielded to their daily tasks only scarcely. The manager and the controller were helpless and finally called a company consultant. He was prowling snobbishly through the gold mine, without having any idea about anything and finally explained to the perplexed managers, that the one and only reason for the bad performance of the two remaining dwarfs is their wrong handling of their shovels. Then he collected a full lorry of gold and dissappeared as quickly as he had arrived.
Meanwhile the controller realized,that the external workers created higher costs than turnover and more of this, that the utilization of the internal dwarfs was dropping down. Finally he dismissed them. The teamleader, that had guided the external dwarfs, was appointed second controller.
And that is why in the end, only one single dwarf was working in the mines. Well, and in his sparse free time, that actually consisted of nothing but of hard-earned overhours dawdled away, he got to know snow-white, which offered her services to him, not far from the mines. Then he contracted syphilis from her and miserably bit the dust. The company went bankrupt, the managers and teamleaders and controllers offered each other generous severance payments and pissed off abroad to avoid being accused of betrayal of confidence and this highly depressing, but truthful fairy tail is over.
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