Happy Halloween, and Merry Christmas...

Last night the dead arouse, it was Halloween in America. Back home it was the Day of the Saints. Being a pagan, Mooses believes in old religion and hails the turn of the yearly wheel.

Christmas is coming? No it is "joulu", which comes from a Nordic word for the wheel "hjul". It marks the moment of winter solstice on the 21st of December. Yes, that´s the moment when the day starts getting longer again - victory from the darkness, you say. A moment of celebration! And a start of another round of the wheel.

<--- Jack'o'Lantern



And then the Christians took it and made it into some sort of a birthday. Sorry, Mooses's father was born on New Year´s Eve, just before midnight. And Mooses was born on the Spring Equinox, just before the noon. Call that a coincidence. If you count back 9 months from the Spring Equinox, you come to Summer Solstice. the biggest pagan celebration in the Nordic Countries. Funny, eh?

But where was I? Ah, the pumpkins.

The carved pumpkin lit with a candle is a European symbol of mind and spirit. It originates from Celtic believes and Irish folklore. Kinda spooky to see them made in China out of plastic with led lights inside today. But so did go the good´ol Goat of the Yearly Wheel down the drain with CocaCola and Hohoho.

The price of oil has dropped 50% during the last month and a half. The price of a pumpkin has gone up 50% the last month and a half. And Islanders are sipping MaiTai's on their tropical island.

World is not fair!

Moose says: Pumpkin seeds are good for prostata.

The Crows Are Back!

For the almost two years I have been living at my place now, there has been a group of crows on the trees in front of my windows. A lot of them, like 20 or so. But this summer they vanished and I lost this great view of mine. I missed the black creatures and was wondering where the hell are they?

Tippi Hedren & the Raven, not a Crow --->

Last weekend they came back - with their offspring, apparently. There´s again this silly knocking on my roof when the birds are exploring the grill, insulation plates, terrace furniture and the succulent plants growing between the stones. And they do it well - found yesterday half of the plants uprooted, some of them on the edge of the outer walls and even stones being lifted up to the edges. And they overnight in the trees in front of my windows. Think about leafless trees, filled with black birds on a winter frost morning... COOL!

Crows are considered to be a bad omen? They are not. They are clever and very handsome birds with gorgeous looks. Welcome back, my darlings!

Alfred - you should have shot the film on my roof with Crows instead!

Icelandanders have left the Island!

For several years, the Icelanders have been collecting money from innocent non-Icelanders into their banking system. Successfully, very successfully. We stupid main-landers have been pumping money onto their little island for a long time, investing into never-ending earthly resources for aluminium, bananas, health spa´s and enjoying the cod from the fresh arctic waters.

<--- A Blue Lagoon without Brooke Shields - Iceland, that is

And meanwhile, what have the mean Islanders been doing? INVESTING! Giving us a mere 5.25% of interest is nothing compared to the interest Haiti has given them. Good for you!

So during all these years, 313,376 pieces of Seal Eating Islanders have had their plan - buy Haiti and get off that miserable, cold, unstable piece-of-shit island of theirs. Stop sucking money from Denmark and fighting about the waters with Norway and UK. And they succeeded! And Europe pays for it! Thank You Commonwealth - your grannies live nicely on porridge, don´t they?

Haitians have been packed into large ships and forced to leave their homes. Icelanders are the new White Rulers! The previous island of Iceland is for the Haitians to develop their skills in seal-eating and spa culture. Islanders love their new, tropical surroundings to the max - them all been pre-trained at the Blue Lagoon already, and they know how to grow bananas. Shere Bliss!

Mooses says: So long, and thanks for all the cash!

Bernadette´s Power Juice


Juice freshly:

3 large Carrots
3 juicy Pears
2 peeled Lemons
1 small Chili Pepper

Stir the stuff well. Ice about 20 cl of the juice in an on-the-rocks glass and add:

4 cl Jägermeister

Stir again and power up!

Summertime!

Porgy and Bess, an opera from 1935 by George Gershwin, comes to Mooses's mind. Weather turned tropical in Amsterdam.

And the Living is Easy: Working from Home is The Trend. Funny I do not get replies to my mails during those WFH days...

Fish are Jumpin': We got Carps in the pond by the office. And Crayfish. And Crocodiles. And Parakeets. And Turtles. And the local bars are full of Tropical Fish in general!

And the Cotton is High: Was out with Cotton the other night and she was really high! She passed out after the second Green Devil. Bad ROI.

Your Daddy´s Rich: No, actually he was not, but darn good lookin´.

And Your Mamma´s Good Lookin´: She is still indeed, Porgy! So was my Daddy. Eat your heart out! Mooses got good genes.

So Hush Little Baby: Marinate them well in Soy sauce, Orange juice and Black Pepper before grilling. Mango Chutney goes well with the Tender Loins. Be careful with the tiny bones while eating.

Don´t You Cry: Bhahwhawwhah ... bhahwhawwhah!

One of these Mornings: Yawn! Too hot to get out of bed...

You're Going to Rise up Singing: "Morning has Broken!" Do hookers take porridge for breakfast?

Then You'll Spread Your Wings: Yes, Bette. I am the Wind Beneath My Wings!

And You'll Take to the Sky: Later, Porgy. The Dealer comes a bit later, like we agreed. Concentrate on the Cotton for a while now, Dear.

Jumpin' Fish

Add-ons are welcome. Mooses leaves it to your imagination, Opossums!

Mooses says: I Loves You, Porgy!

Mooses's Queen's Day Shot Recipe: The Green Devil

3 cl of Bombay Sapphire Gin
3 cl of green Chartreuse (not the yellow one)

Shake well with ice, strain into a shot glass (and you do keep them in your freezer, don´t you?), shoot!
This one is best in one go, believe me.

The herbal elixiers of Chartreuse give this shot a very distinctive taste. You either like it or hate it. The Green Devil has an extra benefit: the following morning you will not need any toothpaste, your mouth will foam of lovely herbal lather by itself.

BTW, the colour of green Chartreuse is purely natural. All other green ones are artificially coloured.

Mooses says: Shake, Rattle and do some Extreme Ironing!

Queen's Day 2008 is Here!

Finally the spring has arrived and along it, the craziest party in Amsterdam - Queen´s Day. Last night was the "Queen's Night" when folks start warming up to the day to come.

Bars and streets are full of toxicated individuals singing Schlager songs very badly and very, very loud. Lots or orange boa´s are being worn, which lure the local fruitcakes to try them on around their heads. (What is it with those men?)

No to be too distant about this all, Mooses fell into the trap, too, last night. Sevenhundredandeleven gin tonics later it was time to crawl home from the local Chaotic entertainment center. Discussions were around things what a Sikh needs to do to blend into European business community and is it safe to allow lesbians to steer glass-fibre speedboats on the narrow canals of Amsterdam? Highly civilized, utterly cultivated and most motivating topics! And before you even think of it: Mooses did not try the boa.

It´s just past ten in the morning and the chump-bump-chump-bump-chump-squeek-chump-squeek rhythms from the passing boats are already rattling my windows. In no time, a bunch of Extraordinary Ladies and Gentlemen arrive for first refreshments. Before it´s too late, Mooses needs to go and stock up the alcohol. This is not going to end well...

Mooses says: Bless the Queens - and have fun!

Margrethe
Silvia

To be Lost or to be Found?

Modern Souls are tortured by needing to make so many decisions that keeping ones mind sane is becoming increasingly difficult. RACI, for instance, haunts every man working in an organization bigger than one - should I do it, or should you? Recycling - am I to take a tea bag into pieces and put the tea leaves into bio-waste, the bag itself into paper bin, metal clip into the heap of tin cans and save the yarn for later? Take a loan and buy a house or continue renting - maybe the financial market will collapse like prices of houses in NY? Cross the street here or a block further? Italian or Chinese for dinner? Dog or Cat for a pet? Boy or Girl for a fuck? Goldfish...maybe?

Why bother?

Calvin Klein used to wear his own underwear, did he not, Ms. Midler?

Answer can be found when lost in Helsinki

A place which provides an answer to these mysteries of life exists. It is located in Helsinki and called Lost & Found. Mooses used to do their marketing - ages ago (logo is not mine, but great - Mooses was given The Pin with a Diamond during the 10 Year Anniversary). -Highly recommended place for any visitor needing to spend time in the White City of the North. Clientele varies from civilized artists and other public figures to mere alcoholics and flying madrasses. Lovely blend! And everybody is Too Sexy for their Hat!

Mooses says: Visit Lost & Found. They serve Salmari and other interesting beverages in an enlivening atmosphere. Be careful, you might get lost and like it...

Mooses's Gueen's Day Recipe: Salmiakkikossu "Salmari" (Licorice Vodka)

Because making this delightful concoction takes some time, it's best to introduce it in a good time ahead. Read carefully - this is the genuine one, whatever your friends tell you. 

Salmari was invented by a bartender (later becoming a public figure and a Tango Queen in Finland) on a Helsinki-Stockholm Cruise Ship - year was one of the late 80's. Out of the White and Red lines cruising the abyss that time, it happened on the Red one. Mooses was not involved with the moment of creation.

The original recipe:

An Export Bag of Tyrkisk Peber Candy (app. 250 gr, not the household 180 gr - more is better, less makes the stuff too thin)

1/2 liters of Vodka (use Koskenkorva or make it on Finlandia or Stolichnaya. Absolutely not with Absolut!)

Crush the candy - easy with a food processor. Take a clean bottle of about 0,75 - 1,00 liters, pour the candy-crush into it (use a funnel), add the Vodka. Shake.

Every day, shake the bottle until all the candy has dispersed into the Vodka - it takes several days.




Chill well. Serve really cold using your nicest shot glasses. And yes of course, shake every time before you pour!

Serves: 2 Finns for one night or 6 Swedes for a weekend or 12 Italians for a week or 32 Japanese for a month or the City of Kansas for a year (including Toto).

<--- Bette had one Salmari too many...or maybe twenty...Joan agrees.

BTW - What Ever happened to Baby Jane?

All about Eve - and Mämmi
Just to let you know - Mommie Dearest







Mooses says: You should play with your Alcohol!

And now a warning! Salmari is extremely unstable substance! You enjoy it and never know when it will explode in your brain. Parental Advisory Recommended! Too many shots also makes your skin smell odd the following morning.

PS. Mummon Tohveli (Grandma's Slipper) is 50/50 Salmari and Baileys layered in a shot glass, Salmari first, it's heavier, and do not stir! DIVINE!

URWERK UR-202 - a Watch from Beyond the Earth!

Lord of the Ants, a man who is able to find ANYTHING in the Internet, dropped me an innocent link to see a new watch. Knowing Mooses's utter interest to designer gadgets, he did not just drop a link to the newest Fashion Swatch, but a link to a freshly introduced masterpiece by Urwerk, their brand new UR-202 - code named "Hammerhead".

<--- A Very Nice Watch. Wonder if the strap is genuine leather?


Oh Boy, oh Boy, oh Boy! The system how the watch shows the time is so superiorly brilliant, it's inside workings - including air-turbine controlled self-winding mechanism is an absolute perfection and how it looks, makes Mooses piss honey! WOW!





Hammerhead is brand new little thingy, introduced in Geneva earlier this April. There´s nothing but superlatives in the internet about it and Mooses understands why. The Watch talks to people like Mooses - appreciating unusual, fine craftsmanship. Closest place to buy one would be a single jewellery store in Belgium, hmm? And they do not mention the price, odd?

More details at Urwerk's site --->

After a brief internet search, Mooses finds a suggestive article - one lucky Jewellery Store in NY apparently got one and the person who was interested in the price, tells that the Rapturous Jeweller - being blessed by having one - is selling it for mere USD 183.000 (yes, onehundredeightythreethousand).


Mooses needs a very rich lover, and quickly!

The manufacturer is not planning to make the Hammerhead an Everyman´s Watch. The Luxury Watch market is expecting Urwerk to make around 15 (fifteen) watches this year, out of which only 5 (five) to US. We Europeans have therefore a better change to get one. Happy us all!

The UR-202 is available in red gold, white gold, black PE-CVD platinum and ALTiN steel. Nice, very nice indeed! Mooses likes the Red Gold version the best.

Mooses wears the first YES timekeeper. Priceless help in knowing the sunrise and the right time to milk the cows!

Mooses says: I´d be OK with the Black Platinum version of the Hammerhead, too. Thank you, My Opossums, Christmas is coming...

Glass, a Portait of Philip in Twelve Parts

Philip Glass is a modern Classic Composer. Mooses loves his work and is at ease to compare Philip with the Classical ones like Bach or Shostakovich. Never die, Man!

To the ones not initiated, Mooses recommends to check: Apple Trailers

Mooses says: Be brave and Try It.

(Some bubbly will help. Mooses would make a Bombay Tonic.)

I am your slave, Karin. Spaink me!

Bumped into my mental and literal muse, my life coach, long lost friend and a Beautiful Mind, Karin, yesterday. She appeared at a celebration of an American Colleague (10 years in NL, clever Dude) and his local Lady Friend who honestly looks like he is humping an under-aged one.

Along being a writer and publisher, Karin enjoys the closeness of My Angel nowadays. Mooses is excited! My Angel is a DJ named Lucia. Not the Opera about Lammermoor but Spanish, snappy DJ with most admirable ear piercings. My Angel is my neighbor. Kramer vs. Kramer - my new Padowan Apprentice - enjoyed the thrill as well. Bless his Grand Mother and may the Force (no kidding) be with you. Talk with her before she needs to go.

My Opossums, Karin has Powers Beyond the Earth. Her graying hair only makes her look even more brilliant. And the drunken discussion (me, not her) we had, brought Mooses back to basics regarding writing skills. I am speechless about your strength, Woman! Mooses believes she was surely born with a pen in her hand. Hope her mother did not get hurt in the process.

Without telling too much, I encourage you to Google her name (It is Karin Spaink, if you did not already get it). Be surprised!

Mooses says: Karin grows Dracunculus Vulgaris in her garden. See Karin´s Blog.

And what's that to do with the price of fish?

The delay with this entry is due to some trouble Mooses had with his trusty Mac.
My utmost gorgeous G5 2x2GHz got upset and refused to start up.
Running Leopard reinstall as we speak - never needed to do a system reinstall during my 20 year long Mac Career before.
Hmmm - nothing is like during the old days, I see.
(Typing this on a stupid Wintel Laptop - aargh!)

A Pricy Fish

But how was it? Yes, Breast Firming Cream. Out the other day with Milano and Emil, excuisite food, elaborate drinks, some digestive weed and limitless amounts of sheer nonsense. Great fun again, Guys! During a discussion over dessert, Milano mentions seen a Breast Firming Cream advert and is wondering what the world has turned into. Emil's and my eyes open of astonishment - Breast Firming Cream is such an old thing - good'ol Teenager Boy's Wet Dream! After comparing our experiences regarding previously published advertising about the blessed substance, we agreed that this is just a flash from the past. Must be around 'cause there's a new generation of teenagers with overactive libidos and imagination who just have not seen the previous round of Breast Firming Cream ads. Wet Dreams are Made of This, Annie!

Busto-Plasty Care Products

Hoot-O-Mat, Tit-E-Wonder, Knocker-S-Up or Boob-A-Supa?

Why does these ads picture those gorgeous women who definitely need no support of any kind to conserve the perkiness of their bosom? Haha - here we go... It's because of the Teenager Boys! Perfectly acceptable evening reading material - with hands under the blanket, most likely.

<--- A Pair of nicely Perky Ones, made with Busto-Plasty

By the way, my Lady Readers - you would not buy a Busto-Plasty product if it was advertised with an image of a woman truly needing some titty-tight-up - kinda having two wallets hanging from her shoulders - nonono. It's the end result that needs to be forged into our imaginations. Basic rule of marketing - do not show the problem, show the solution and end result!

System Reinstall completed - 70 minutes exactly - seems my trusty Mac is back online! Will continue there...

Never use work mobile phone during your free time

Not only is such action likely against your company policy, but also features a risk for serious mishaps. Picture this: Saturday after heavy Preventive Conservation, no dinner, badly slept night, high stress-levels, no breakfast, hair of the dog - and ***pling*** you start practicing some telephone terrorism - and to save some Euro's, you do it with your work mobile. Does not promise good, does it?

A Telephone Terrorist in Burka, with no need of Busto-Plasty --->

Almost the worst happened to Mooses last weekend. Finding traces of calls made to a couple of manager colleagues in my phone on Sunday and not remembering if I actually talked with them did not feel good. Bless the Goddess! No harm done, apparently the calls did not go through. Pheew! Lesson learned!

Mooses says: Ladies - Put Your Nipples to the Wind and Terrorize the ManKind!

PS. It is tempting to expand the topic into Design-A-Vagina and Anal Bleaching direction, but due to the sensitivity and images of those topics, Mooses decides not to. For the ones interested, there's Google. Neither will you find famous images like Robert Mapplethorpe's Man in Polyester Suit here.

Mooses's Weekend Long-Drink Recipe: Screw-A-Driver


Hadsome measure of Vodka (use Finlandia or Stolichnaya - absolutely not Absolut)
Freshly squeezed Orange Juice
Galliano
Orange Slice
Ice

Build in a tall glass of app. 25 cl.

Fill the glass with ice, pour in the Vodka. Top up with Orange Juice, stir. Finally pour gently a half-measure of Galliano on top (called "float"), do not stir afterwards. Decorate with a slice of Orange. And before you ask, Galliano is essential. Otherwise the stuff is just plain Vodka Orange. And canned juice is like "What the F*ck?" - use proper ingredients or opt for some Tart Fuel instead.

Mooses says: time for some DIY, Dudes!

Do It Yourself!

DIY is one helluva business. Most of the Folks with own houses/apartments turn into it - mostly without any idea about what actually needs to be done. Only with an idea about the final result. DIY - which traditionally involves understanding of materials (like wood, ceramics, thickness of timber, types of glues, sizes of screws...) - has through times been a Male Hobby. You know, bragging around at the house who somebody has already finished waving a hammer for a couple of important details: a nail to hang up the mandatory Picture of the Mother in Law. Our endless appraisals for the good work! The kick must be the Power Tools.

<--- Just Two Hands and Black & Decker - oops, one hand and...

Times have changed

DIY's prominent positions as Nr 1 Male hobby is seriously challenged. Nerds and even Women go DIY nowadays! Hardware shops feature season's gimmicks like pot-plants, give out Design Magazines with easy-to-make newspaper stands made of MDF - and yes! - Designer Pot Plant Holders you can easily make out of air-pipe brackets with creative touch of fancy spray paint. Mmmm - Lovely! (If some of you, Opossums, get an idea to make them as present for Mooses's roof terrace opening, be warned! The fence is not that high...)

All this just to lure the desperate DIY'ers in, to buy super expensive can of decorative paint? But do they actually tell you how to make a tiled bathroom floor with a floor heating - preferably so that the water does not flow into your bedroom? And if you ask for an advice, do they know how to? No. Neither have they any idea if that EUR 39,95 drill is capable of making a hole into your reinforced concrete wall. They never did it themselves - being well trained they leave it for The Pros.

Choice is yours

If you insist on spending lotsa money by the DIY shops, by all means, do so. You will enjoy the Endless Swirl of Fresh Ideas which will enhance the style your home with the latest trends, forms and colours. If you know how to work with the materials, that is.

And now just smooth it all out gently. --->

Latest Gig: flexible dry-wall - perfect for making groovy 70's structures! Easy as Cake: sketch your design, get some incredible flex-boards, make a quick drawing on your floor and start bending! Boards flex like a dream - true. But did they tell you about how to finish the surfaces, plaster it to look like that Smooth Disco Wall you had in mind? Or even how to fix that shit up to the ceiling? No, of course not. This is only about the curving gypsum board. We thought you already knew the rest! Oh, how about Plastering then? The materials are so cheap - cannot be that difficult...

Moose loves DIY

Mooses comes from a Construction Family and can Handle a Hammer. And a Screwdriver. Can even make a proper one. However the advice is:

Nr. 1) DIY shops rip you off with prices.  

Nr 2) People working at DIY shops cannot make a single wall even coloured themselves - they like "giving it an effect".

Nr 3) DIY shops are for rich wankers.

<--- And now just smooth it all out gently.

Go and find a good specialist store at you area and talk with them. Paying for some services will save you money at the end. Do not glue your own shit pipes under the floor, will you!

Always wear proper protection! --->
See more Hilarious Inventive Ideas!

 


Mooses says: DIY is for Well Initiated People only.

(and where did I put that remote controller of my new remote-controllable bedroom lights...)

Elisabeth Schwarzkopf - come and sing to Mooses!

Kramer and The Lord of the Ants - both of whom need to go to the office tomorrow - being mortals - entertained Mooses. Right! Mooses wanted to get invited into The Donna Summer Fan Club the other night! NO DICE - but fantastic birthday present - a Chinese Massage! Thanks, Pal! Thanks a lot!

Thanks Dude! You know what I like! Up to his toes, the China Girl goes, David Bowie. Honest, Great, No Happy Ending... WOW! Had to come back home without my imaginatory friend and this quoted young opera singer from the last bar. Please join me to Pijp tomorrow!

Mooses IS for classic music. Fuck, I played violine and trumpet myself! Horror! Rimsky - fingers off Scheherazade! Bach - come on! Mozart - let's have a drink! Sibelius - Walz oh so Triste!

Short one tonight. Have to get ready for Elisabeth Scwartzkopf. All knobs to the South East and Goddess Bless my neighbours.

Classics? Never trust Wikipedia. So you are the one who actually did all that Mozart so well? Erm... Let the kids learn.



Mooses says: Listen and Learn! (BTW: Josh Groban, try Mozart - and I mean singing...)


Erm: It would be very unpolite not to recognize the Birthday Present given by The Lord of Ants. Mooses enoyed a full hour of Bang-a-Shit by the Local Chinese Massage Parlour. The Lady knew what to do with Mooses! No Happy Ending, not necessary either. Thanks, Pal, again! Made me feel great!

MacArthur´s Park is melting in the dark

It is Spring Equinox 2008, Mooses turned 46

If I Could Turn Back Time...

Spring was never waiting for us, girl
It ran one step ahead
As we followed in the dance
Between the parted pages and were pressed,
In love's hot, fevered iron
Like a striped pair of pants

The Good Old Disco Times

[Chorus]

MacArthur's Park is melting in the dark

All the sweet, green icing flowing down...
Someone left the cake out in the rain
I don't think that I can take it
'Cause it took so long to bake it
And I'll never have that recipe again
Oh, no!

I recall the yellow cotton dress
Foaming like a wave
On the ground around your knees
The birds, like tender babies in your hands
And the old men playing chinese checkers by the trees

[Chorus]

There will be another song for me
For I will sing it
There will be another dream for me
Someone will bring it
I will drink the wine while it is warm
And never let you catch me looking at the sun
And after all the loves of my life
After all the loves of my life
You'll still be the one.

I will take my life into my hands and I will use it
I will win the worship in their eyes and I will lose it
I will have the things that I desire
And my passion flow like rivers through the sky.
And after all the loves of my life
After all the loves of my life
I'll be thinking of you
And wondering why.

MacArthur's Park is melting in the dark

All the sweet, green icing flowing down...
Someone left the cake out in the rain
I don't think that I can take it
'Cause it took so long to bake it
And I'll never have that recipe again
Oh, no!
Oh, no
No, no
Oh NO!!

The Star Today, live on stage --->

Mooses says: Use good quality moisturizer daily! *snort* ...I Feel Love and hope it is not the Last Chance, Donna! Cher, eat your heart out. Being a Dark Lady does not count!

Bubble-Wrap entertained Pussy

Day at the office was the last one before a good break - having a week plus without RACI. Luxury! "Where will you travel during your time off, Mooses?" ... "Praxis!" Sounds like one serious week of DIY - and abuse of power tools for egg painting. Mooses is really looking forward to the Holy Holidays!

After a short creative break, Mooses enjoyed a delightful evening with Milano and Emil. (Sorry for the previous confusion - the names of the brothers are based on their second names, the name of the Lady is any Italian city.)

Emil and Milano took such good care of Mooses. It is almost impossible to describe the appreciation. Full table of Indian Food followed by endless rows of Sambuca and questionable smokes kept us entertained until very late morning hours.

A Grey Cat called Scratchalot got our undivided attention and while being semi-eaten alive by the gorgeous beast, Mooses could not help noticing the odd decoration feature in the room. What the heck does 9 sqm of bubble-wrap on the living room floor actually mean? It is not the first time Mooses has been invited into a Fetish Party - but large quantities of Bubble Wrap on the living room floor? Mooses is a Cat-God-Father!

Emil satisfies Mooses's curiosity

"It is just when we get drunk and and high and the Pussy decides to run around the apartment (while I am hiding behind a door) and wants to attack me... Then the Pussy runs towards me, puts suddenly the brakes full on, and glides against a wall in the soft bubble wrap going: Miaouw!" Mooses understands Fetish People well - particularly when described by a motorbiker.

On the other hand (or on the other hand), this Link.Me.With.People.I.Have.Nothing.To.Do.With.Anymore -site has proven to be effective. After just a couple of weeks there, Mooses has received (and sent) co(u)ntless contact requests from/to people long lost. The question is: Why?

Italian Magick Tradition

But great things happen as well while on line. Mooses´s ever so favourite Team Leader from ages ago, Brown Danger, takes contact. After leaving the company and getting seriously into the family life and travel business, she tells Mooses that all is fine. Mooses needs more details before believing it.

But can we get back into that old idea of finding an old Italian Tradition Teacher for Mooses? I still cannot tune my Olive Oil on Water correctly!

Mooses says: time for a full defrag - will reboot tomorrow...

Scharrel or Fabergé, Sir?

Carl Gustavovich Fabergé was born in St. Petersburg in 1846 developing into one of the most well known goldsmiths ever. His designs and works of his elite goldsmith team became favorites of the Tzars Aleksander III and Nicholas II of Russia, so he was appointed as the Russian Court Goldsmith and later of the Swedish Court, too.

Fabergé's notoriously flamboyant Easter Eggs made of gold, other valued metals, enamel, pearls and precious stones represented the ultimate in goldsmith skills at the turn of the 19th and 20th century.

Tzar Nicholas II used to order two Fabergé eggs every year, one for his mother and the other for his wife, Alexandra. OTMA, the four daughters of Nicholas, were not allowed to play with the eggs.

 Not a toy for OTMA --->

 


Olga, Tatiana, Maria and Anastasia

Due Nicholas´s frequent visits to Eastern Finland and Helsinki and additionally due to one of Fabergé´s sons emigration to Finland, this Goldsmith Family enjoys a special place in the heart of the obscene rich Finns. It´s also important to recognize that quite a few of Fabergé´s best goldsmiths were Finns.

(Definite positive development from making a mämmiropponen.)


 

Vegetarian Easter Egg Traditions


Scharrel Eggs are laid by vegetarian chicken and their yolks are more orange-yellow than of a standard egg. They are produced by the gazillions and readily available at your local grocery store.

You can easily decorate them yourself using food colouring, crayons, coloured pencils, onion peels, candle wax, water-based latex paints, beaver pelts, lobster shells, ink-jet printer, electric razor, pneumatic drill or a shot gun. Let your creativity flow freely!

"Oh Fuck, it cracked! %£@%$&*)$&!!!!" --->

Mooses is convinced that somewhere, there are the belongings of a Long Lost Grand-Aunt, among which a box of half a dozen of Fabergé eggs just waiting to be found.

On the top of the box, there's a yellowed card with text written in a shaky hand writing:

"To my Dear Little Mooses: Happy Easter! Auntie."




Mooses says: There's more profound symbolism in a Fabergé than in a Scharrel Egg.

Whale Burger at Strøget
 
Did you know that the Danes used an insect-based coloring to make the famous Pølse-sausages so distinctively bright red? The colour originates from crunched, boiled and dried larvae of an insect feeding on cactus plants. Those creepy-crawlers are the source for colour Cochenille. Same colour was used to give that bright red tone to Campari, until it was banned from edible stuff, but still used by cosmetic industry - along whale fat from Greenland.

<--- A Creepy Crawler with a colourful little secret

No worries, the same lavish, slightly bluish red tone has been reproduced synthetically and we can still enjoy a bright coloured Campari-Soda and those delicious red sausages between the rides at Tivoli in Copenhagen.

 

Some old-school readers might still remember, however, when the colouring agent was changed and the foam on the top of the glass of Campari-Soda went much paler. Mooses does!

Go Greenland!

But in the meantime Danish economy has developed enormously - without the EURO of course. Back in the history are the times of un-employment and movement of Danish youngsters to Sweden. The Danish Queen Margrethe, smokes happier than ever! And the rest of the Nordic Countries lack Danish speakers.

Was it the Blue or the Red Pill, Silvia? --->

Archaeology vs. Catherine Deneuve

What to do? Where to find a Dane? Even a small one would do! Think out of the box - Go Greenland! While the gargantuan ice-mass on the island of Greenland is melting due to global warming, Greenlanders are at the same time loosing their old ways of getting along.


Lack of Danish language in Sweden comes to rescue and Greenlanders emigrate to Sweden en masse, taking their Pet Seals along. Handsome wilderness and unspoiled forests with sparsely inhabited small towns provide a safe-haven and new hunting grounds for stranded Greenlanders.

Social Change Management

Social Change Management is needed for perfect integration, so the Swedish, Turkish-owned Pizzeria's are redoing their lunch menus. Daily Special "Dagens" changes from a Moose Burger into a Whale Burger.


<--- A Great Dane. after a crate of Tuborg.

To satisfy the new demand, ships loaded with legally hunted Greenland whale (for marine science research) which have been cleanly chopped into bite-size pieces and shipped deep-frozen to Japan (for investigation by marine biologists at the Tokyo Sushi Bars) are now diverted to Sweden and that research material used for the lunch-burgers.

Moose stroll in the Swedish forests without fear again.

Mooses says: Learn to speak Whale!

Are there Snakes in Ireland?

It is St. Patrick's Weekend! All the Irish folks go Guinness using the excuse of the Day of the Saint for their drunkedness. Fair enough - we Finns do it for the 1st of May (vappu), midsummer (juhannus) or any other day that links us with our pagan history. And they are many! Best shots during those parties are done using Olympus digital camera, like scottny in his lovely little home video tells :o))) This Patrick bloke, however, is a bit controversial...

Banishing the snakes

"St. Patrick, the patron saint of Ireland, is one of Christianity's most widely known figures. But for all his celebrity, his life remains somewhat of a mystery.

<--- Patrick prefers Panasonic digital camera. Kjell is thrilled!

One Sad Snake not welcome to Ireland --->

Many of the stories traditionally associated with St. Patrick, including the famous account of his banishing all the snakes from Ireland, are false, the products of hundreds of years of exaggerated storytelling." But the truth remains, the are no snakes on the Emerald Island! It is simply a geo-biological fact due to the island not having land-linkage with the European mainland and previous ice ages freezing away any snakes that could have lingered around at the very, very old times.

Black & White at the Angel Bar

Managed to get out tonight, not just staying home at my keyboard. A genuinely nice Lady from the local Angel Bar invited me to celebrate her aging. No reason to worry, Dear, your ravishing looks go a long way! No need for the Blue pill or the Red pill! You are simply gorgeous! Mooses was only missing his Sony digital camera.

Along come friends representing more culture. Young love is precious and Mooses decides to go easy. Lord of the Ants is present and evening develops towards a change of scenery. Being renown Amsterdam Tour Guide, he leads us towards a newly opened bar owned by friends.

<--- Turkish Delight, sweet as a Nikon Digital Camera

Ordeal turns out to be a nice walk in Jordaan area (name coming from French word Jardin - a Garden) and a return to practically where we left. Some IUI's (Injuries Under Influence) occured.

Taxi is Public Transport

Head for Led Zeppelin and waterholes at the area. With my dear friends, the Turkish Delight and the Leprechaun, we ended at the Bar for the Hopeless. After a couple of pints of Guinness - and for the Mooses, Cointreau's - life started to catch up again. Mobile phones with photo-ability should be banished - like snakes from Ireland! With Canon digital camera one of course can. What a lovely night!

A Little Man in a Green Suit --->

The end of the tale is a pretty one. No fights whatsoever. And the Leprechaun even manages to get us a cab! Digging for all those potatoes must have taught her more skills than meets the eye!

Moose says: Happy St. Patrick's Day! - Brought to you by ExpoTV! (Mooses goes Commercial - LOL!)

All about Eve - and Mämmi

Bette Davis glittered in movie All About Eve in 1951 (won 6 Oscars). Finns have been making Mämmi for Easter much longer. There´s a strange connection with those two - not necessarily the best looks, but weirdly delicious...

Mämmi is made of water, malt and rye flour with syrup and some orange peel flavoring. Process of making Mämmi is very slow, including first boiling and then baking in the oven for ages. Traditionally Mämmi is baked in a low, square box made out of birch tree bark and called "ropponen". Birch tree bark is very beautiful and pliable and in the spring when Mämmi is made, also easy to loosen from the trees. The bark gave also its own little extra taste to Mämmi, which is missing from the modern, industrial cardboard-ropponen versions. Making a mämmiropponen is a highlight of Traditional Finnish Arts and Crafts!

<--- Bette Davis and her eyes.



The result of this elaborate kitchen exercise is extremely thick, blackish brown stuff which is eaten refrigerator cold with cream and a sprinkle of sugar. The visual looks of Mämmi should not scare you! (Same can be said about Bette Davis.) Taste of Mämmi is uniquely sweet, maybe something along an ultra-dense full-grain brownie soaked in Guinness with a dash of Orange Juice. Yummy!

Because Mämmi is Mooses´s childhood favourite, it is occasionally referred to in this blog. Mooses eats it once a Decade.

A portion of Mämmi, right out of ropponen --->
Colloquial Politeness vs. The Old School
Rain in Spain stays Mainly on the Spaniards
Facts about Mooses

Bette Davis was a carbon-based life form born 1908 and after an astonishing career in films, died in 1989. Her famous looks gave inspiration to Kim Carnes´s song: Bette Davis Eyes.

Mooses says: Have a Mämmi and a Smile!

Facts about Mooses

"Mooses" is not plural of "Moose" (or Elk). Mooses is the name of one pretty famous Bloke from one pretty famous Book.

You recall Egypt and parting the waters? Not him, the other one... Spelling is Finnish and will stay that way.

 Male Moose on exuberant Spring Fields. --->

And by the way, Mooses is way more handsome than even a young Moose!




For the ones interested, the origin of the name is in the beginning of this blog. Full name is Mooses Pessi. Any questions? Use the Comment Feature and best ones will be answered. Winner gets a box of Mämmi!

Just to let you know, Mommie Dearest.

Mooses says: Be again Welcome to Nymphomania!

Seven Deadly Sins - 2008 Edition

New times require new standards. The Famous Seven are outdated - including the movie. Who's today worried about a some good'ol Lust (punishment: being smothered in fire and brimstone), Gluttony (punishment: being forced to eat rats, toads and snakes), Greed (punishment: being put in cauldrons of boiling oil), Sloth (punishment: being thrown into a snake pit), Anger (punishment: being dismembered alive), Envy (punishment: being put in freezing water) or Pride (punishment: being broken on a wheel)?

All that bla-bla-bla is so Jurassic! Not that many people even understand the old concepts. Gluttony? Something in bread that kids are allergic to? Or where they not the ice-creams OLA made the other summer? Safest is of course simply adhere to the Seven Holy Virtues instead: Chastity, Abstinence, Temperance, Diligence, Patience, Kindness and Humility.
 
<--- Lot and his wife got out on time. But then the Bitch got second thoughts...

Reinvent The SIN. Time to scare the Modern Man: Vatican announces the New 7 Deadly Sins! "Being rich is actually dangerous to your soul!" says a TV-cute catholic priest to an interviewer. Mooses feels immediate empathy for Queen Elisabeth and King Gates. They were both doomed overnight!

At this moment, Vatican City´s official web site does not list the details, but web is full of interpretations. Most common list include: Polluting, Genetic Engineering, Obscene riches, Taking drugs, Abortion, Pedophilia, Causing Social Injustice. Kinda makes sense and feels more at home. But Come On! How do you read this list then? Erm...

The New Seven Deadly Sins

Causing Social Injustice: You call a person with weird English accent a Moron. Not in balance with your fellow man! Punishment: washing one´s mouth with soap in public.

Taking drugs: You sip some wine from the chalice on Sunday. Alcohol is the #2 Killer Chemical! Punishment: been displayed in public, naked and covered in own vomit.

Polluting: You play loud music using a bad quality MP3 player in a rush-hour bus. Destroying the auditive environment of fellow men. Punishment: being force-fed with 50 German Schlager CD´s in public.

<--- DNA - A Beautiful Sin

Annie Lennox - A Beautiful Sin with good DNA --->

 

Obscene Riches: You get a 7 Million Euro handshake from Albert Heijn as farewell. Bragging and making others envy you. Punishment: public clipping of all credit cards. Punishment to the one who Envies you: being put in freezing water.

Pedophilia: You know what this is, you piece of shit. Punishment: a really bad one!

Abortion: You have your first sex experience while drunk during a high-school party and get accidentaly pregnant. Punishment: suffer the consequences until you die, you asked for it! And you were taking drugs - deserves a double punishment.

Genetic Engineering: You find a cure for Alzheimer and get a Nobel Price for it. Punishment: your own DNA will be fed to pigs - in public!

Mooses says: "Don´t Mess with a Missionary Man!"